yesterday my mom got offended cos we were watching annabelle and i was like hey that doll kinda looks like me and she was liKE NO IT DOESNT

it sincerely looks….just like me

Anonymous asked:
How do you keep going when you feel like giving up?

I think above anything the best thing to remember and something that I wish someone would have told me is that, no one will give you a reason to live or to want to be here really. At first, you’re going to have to cling on to some shit that seems really stupid, and other people might make you feel like it’s really stupid. I promise it’s not really stupid, not at all. Some of my reasons at the beginning was,  I have to wake up in case Hyunseong posted a pic while I was asleep and I have to get out of bed because I have to wash my face and I have to stay awake so people don’t forget Hyunseong is there and I can’t give up until in my heart I have forgiven myself. And you keep going every day and little by little you make something from it, little by little you make something from the inane things that kept you going every day. Your stupid blog filled with nonsensical ramblings, someone will love it and you’ll love them so much you’ll love them so much you don’t want to stop, one day you’ll see an esthetician give your mother a makeover and you will see her so happy that you have to stop yourself from crying and you think I want to do that, I want to make people smile that way, I want to give people confidence so they never have to be scared of themselves like I was. When you hear you’re too smart do something like that, you will know what respect feels like and it comes from within, and you’ll know joy has no IQ.  And in a way you will try to never forgive yourself because deep down, you want to be here. But then someone will look at you with such love in their eyes that you may get mad and you might get confused and you’ll be angry why you can’t understand, but slowly you realise you must not be that bad after all.  After you’ve found peace in yourself you find that you’re not as scared as you used to be.

Use your words, use them often, use them with love and support and encouragement, it’s such a blessing we can use our words to make people smile and to make them laugh,  I will begin to feel restless if I even stop for a moment. 

Try not to forget that you are human too, I am a human just like you are, we all deserve to give ourselves the love in which we give to others. Please do not ever listen to anyone who calls you a monster, not because of the way you look, not because you have trouble processing things, not because you break things easily, not because your motor skills are shoddy,  not because you say the wrong things.

You deserve to lounge in the bath surrounded by candles and you deserve to sprinkle lavender oil on your pillow, you deserve to fall asleep under a mass of blankets under a rainy day, you deserve to listen to smooth jazz as you work on your hobbies, you deserve to watch youtubers cry over a horror game, you deserve to sing songs to your cats, you deserve to paint your nails glittery, you deserve to rest your feet over the heat on the vents of the floor, you deserve to play the one note your favourite singer has done over and over and over and over again, you deserve to do all the small things you enjoy, all the things that remind you you aren’t a monster.

I would say that above all loyalty is what kept me going, relentless loyalty, relentless sticking to beliefs, for me loyalty is happiness if I do not have my loyalty then I am not sure what I have. Loyalty to myself and loyalty to others. 

Remember that I love you and you don’t have to be alone, at first you will have to give yourself any reason to get up but I promise you one day you will wake up with so many reasons you never thought you’d have.